We have started thinking about the things we can stand to do even if they suck a bit and the things that aren't worth it. Birthday party for Meg on her and Drew's birthday: worth it. Attending church during the joy Sunday of advent: not worth it. The four Sunday's of advent have themes of hope, peace, love, and joy. We can manage the first three, although church is often not easy to bear, but the last one was awful. Not that I don't have moments of joy, but Christmas isn't really about joy for me right now.
I'll write more about the birthday later I hope, assuming I'm not too busy this semester. However right now we do best when we are reasonably busy, when there is something to do and not too much time to think. I suspect it will remain this way until we make it through the anniversary of Drew's death at the end of February.