So tomorrow I turn 35. I will be officially advanced maternal age if I ever get pregnant again. Of course getting pregnant again involves convincing my husband he wants to have another child, a difficult decision once you have lost a child. Also there are other complications which I have written about here.
Except for the ticking of my biological clock, I don't really mind turning 35. I hope my birthday will be easier than last year. Last year I was still in the complete haze of despair of early grief from losing Drew, so we had a potluck at the house the day of my birthday so we would celebrate some. It worked a little and I do like potluck.
This year we are having potluck again on Saturday. I hope I can manage to celebrate some tomorrow though. Meg with help of her daddy bought me some birthday presents and she can't wait for me to unwrap them. Last year the presents consisted of a small honey jar with bees on it and popcorn, both thing she liked and I was amused. This year's gifts from Meg promise to be amusing too.
I will miss and think about Drew as well. I do it every day, of course, but around my 30th birthday Meg and Drew were conceived, the best birthday present I ever received. So I will think of Drew tomorrow and watch Meg enjoy it being my birthday and wonder if I will get to be considered advanced maternal age by my next birthday.
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I hope you had a lovely birthday and that you did manage to celebrate a little this year. Looking forward to hearing about what Meg gave you this year! I also lost a birthday in a haze of despair and still have trouble working out my age (and what year it is)
ReplyDeleteWhichever path you decide to take, I hope that all goes smoothly.